The day you decided to pull-out

I suddenly received your message saying that you wanted to pull out from our relationship. It was a very long message and the minutes I finish reading, I stunned and my hands were shaking but the wall clock showed only 4.30pm. I still have 30mins to finish my work and I kept telling myself to breathe breathe breathe and focus on my work. I wanted to cry, I can't function but I kept telling myself not now not now. The minutes the clock showed 5pm,i quickly punch out and rush to my car. I totally mental broke down and start bawling. I re-read and re-read the message but I couldn't type a word to reply. I just kept crying and crying in the car. I felt hurt, angry, and confused. An hour later, I decided not to go home with my current condition so I drove to a cafe. Before I get out from my car, my tear just couldn't stop from flowing out. I broke down in tear again in my car for another hour. Once I got better, I walked into the cafe and ordered a drink and work with my laptop. My mind just couldn't stop thinking about him and I wanted to cry again. But I hold it for few hours. When the night was getting late, I left the cafe and cried along the way home. My must not let my mom to see my face so I quickly rush to my room and locked myself up. I kept thinking how to reply his message during shower. We experienced so much together, and I'm grateful for what we had. I still care about you a lot and it will make me sad to see you go. I don't completely understand why, but I understand that you don't want to be together anymore, and that makes me really sad. I know I'm going to be okay but it hurts a lot right now. After retype and retype the message, I decided to keep my message short, grateful on what he had done for me and respect his decision. Just before pressing the send button, my heart was really hurt, I can feel the pressure pressing against my heart and I felt transient shortness of breath. I know this is a goodbye message and I have to let you walk away from my life. SEND. I collapsed in my bed. I didn't think that this would be happening. I wish I were a part of your future, but I can't make you change your mind. I wanted to stay together. But you don't feel the same way. I just want to tell you one last time that I do love you and I want only the best things for your life. Goodbye!